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Learning Not To Take Things Personal

Many of us have this weird habit of taking things personally. Let me give you an instance from my life the other day, my husband got up grumpy and started yelling at me. Despite knowing that it has nothing to do with me, I decided to confront him, and the situation got out of control. It completely spoilt my mood while my husband remained oblivious. Let me confess I am a hypersensitive individual who can take even a sneeze or a cough personally.  Every time we react to someone’s grumpiness or awkward behavior we end up giving the power of our life to the person. While we burn in the inferno of our assumed indignation, the other might be completely clueless. We have spent many sleepless nights fretting over others opinion and fueling our rage. Ever wondered why we take things so personally? Is this mere ego or oversensitivity?

Don’t Care Attitude

There are certain things and situations which are out of our control. We can’t correct and rectify other’s behavior and emotions but we can keep our response in check. Obsessively worrying about others opinions will yield only disappointment and heartache. It’s better to adopt a don’t care attitude towards others. Rather than focusing on others, it is better to reflect on our behavior and reactions. When someone misbehaves or use fouls language it reflects their character, not ours. Try to keep yourself busy and learn the art of ignoring small trivial matters.

Put Yourself In Other’s Shoes

It always pays to be understanding and compassionate. It’s not necessary that we always react at others wrong, sometimes it is better to put yourself in other’s shoes. Rather than getting into argument and confrontation, step aside and allow it to cool off. Try changing the focus of the confrontation. Once the rage settles down, try understanding the other person’s perspective while confiding your feelings. Cooling periods will allow you to keep in check your behavior and emotions too. Avoid kneejerk reactions to situations.

Be Emotionally Independent

We define ourselves from the relationships we have in our lives. We depend on others to fulfill our emotional needs, which is the root cause of the trouble. When our partners are encouraging and loving we feel elated on the other hand their criticism can sting us badly. Rather than expecting others to make us happy lets simply stay emotionally independent. Create a personal boundary telling everyone that you will not put up with certain behavior. Boundaries can prevent you from getting entangled into unnecessary complications. If other person trespasses on your boundary and intimidates your or berate you simply cut off your ties.

Learn to focus on yourself rather than relying on others for your emotional needs. Self-worth is internal it has nothing to do with others. No one can make you feel small or embarrassed without your permission. Relationships play a significant role in our lives but let’s not define ourselves solely in relation to them. When we bank on ourselves for our happiness the external influences vanishes.

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